Protected
by Happy Snow
Summary: Azula had always had to stay strong, hold together. She didn't want to do it any more. She wanted to be protected. Post-war.


_Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar._

_I will not cry!_ Azula willed herself as she sat in the asylum, her hands and feet chained. Was this really what her brother, her own big brother, wanted for her? To be chained so she could barely move. To be more bored than Mai could _ever _be (not that Mai was ever going to be bored now that she was with Zuzu). To have her pride dug out of her completely with the nurses not even letting her eat herself. She, the once Fire Princess, was chained up and _fed_, for goodness sake! She wasn't even allowed to eat herself because they thought that she might try to escape or might starve. Apparently, Fire Lord Zuko gave orders she could not starve. She had to live and be tortured. Okay, she might have added the last sentence but Azula had always been able to read people, she knew that was probably what he was thinking.

She hadn't been able to predict that Mai would betray her and that Ty Lee would've helped her, she reasoned. Perhaps this was another case that she guessed wrongly. But deep down, Azula knew that wasn't true. Mai was very close and secretive and even though Azula hated to admit this, just as good as lying as Azula is. If she was rationale at the time when Mai had betrayed her, she would have guards holding Ty Lee because she knew that Ty Lee always took Mai as more of a friend then herself. But Zuzu... he has always been an open book to her. There was no way she couldn't guess.

She had always thought Zuzu had a soft spot for everybody. He could've killed Ozai (calling him father was painful now knowing that he never really loved her) but no, he struck the throne when he redirected the lightning. Turns out he hated _her_ even more than Ozai. He had to torture her, snatch her throne, her friends, her pride... And then keep her alive just to keep track on how she would react to everything she had cared about taken from her.

The tears in her eyes finally slipped and there was no way that she could twist herself even to wipe the tears, no way to hide the fact that she was broken, no way to put on the strong mask she had all those years. She felt vulnerable, weak, useless, destroyed and... inferior. Azula didn't want to admit it but she felt inferior. She needed somebody. She wanted Zuko here.

_Please_, she thought. She wanted to see anybody, anybody familiar. She did care for them, at least her family, she really did. She just... she was never thought how to show it. All her life, Azula was taught to be a firebending prodigy, the smart one. That was all her family cared about. Nobody cared if she was scared. Nobody cared if she was upset. Nobody cared if she needed someone to tell her how to react, how to show affection (which was why she needed Ty Lee's help to even learn how to flirt).

But there was a time, she remembered (no one expects her to). She had remembered all the time. Zuko _had_ cared about her once.

She was four then, Zuko was six. Under a normal circumstance, nobody would bother to remember something so small that happened while they were four but that was honestly the first time that Azula had felt any sort of affection, the first (and also the last) time that she felt protected. That was before Azula grew up, before she was taught to be harsh, she was taught not to trust, but not taught affection.

Azula was having a high fever and it was abnormal for firebenders, especially firebending prodigies, to get fever but Azula's temperature had shot up to 48 degree and was _still _increasing. The servants have soaked her with cold water, which was not just not helping but also making her feel _even _more sick. She just want her mother or her father to help her but they were both visiting some other location that apparently had wavering loyalties.

She ended up vomiting so badly that she needed a change of clothings. The servants who were (fake) fussing before now leapt back. All looked at one another, not wanting to help her change out of those disgusting clothes. She waved them away, telling them she'd change on her own, her eyes flaring angrily. Not daring to disobey, they left immediately. Azula changed into clean and, more importantly, dry clothings. She sank into her bed, knowing that the servants wouldn't be entering any time soon.

Just as she thought she was about to get peace, the door slipped open just a little bit and Zuko peeked in. He turned his head left and right, checking that there weren't any servants left (he found them creepy). Sighing in relief, he stepped in and rushed to her bedside.

"Azula? Are you alright?" he asked, placing his hand on her head and and immediately pulling away as the tingling heat sensation hit his palm. He frowned, and ran into the toilet, getting a pail (in case she vomited), a small bowl and a towel. He bought them out with cold water filling in the pail. Putting the bucket down, he dipped the soft towel into the bowl and lifted it up, squeezing it dry a little. He placed it on Azula's forehead tentatively.

"It's okay, Azula," he whispered. "I'm here now." Azula, too weak and not wanting to argue since she actually enjoyed this feeling, sighed in relief. This actually felt good. She felt safe, warm and protected as Zuko held her.

When the servant next entered, Zuko who had always feared them dismissed them, insisting that he took care of her himself. The servant gave a respective bow and exited, very gladly. Nobody liked taking care of Azula and she knew it, she didn't care. But she did, she knew she did but she had to pretend that she rather care for herself. For once, she was contented to let her big brother who was someone who really did wanted to take care of her do so.

Over the next two weeks, it was the happiest Azula had ever been, not that Zuko knew it. She let herself sleep, knowing that Zuko was sitting on the chair next to her with his head rested on her blanket, making sure nobody could get to Azula without passing him, protecting her.

"She's... in chains?" A familiar voice drifted from outside the door, Azula lifted her head weakly.

"Yes, sir. She cannot hurt anyone that way and..."

"Unchain her!" Zuko commanded, his voice steady and firm but Azula could hear the shiver in it. He was trying to keep his breathing in control and not lose his temper, something he rarely manage.

"Sir, she is very dange..."

"UNCHAIN HER!" Zuko yelled, fire dancing in his eyes dangerously. The guard scrambled into the room and unchained her hastily, exiting just as quickly, not knowing what to expect from Azula. Azula who haven't moved in months, collapsed onto the floor, her body to weak to comply to anything. The minute the guard exited, Zuko assured the guard that he would be fine and insisted the guard leave before he decide to sack him. Zuko entered the room, sitting down on the greasy floor immediately and surveyed Azula.

And there he was, her big brother, just the opposite side of the room, looking at her with the same concern and expression he had used ten years ago. "Azula?" he finally asked and although voice was much deeper than it was ten years ago, the same feelings, the same tone could be heard from it.

Azula couldn't hold it back. All the years she have been taking care of herself, being strong, being her father's perfect little pet. She didn't want that, she wanted someone to care for her, someone to protect her again. Not bothering her tears nor her dignity, she dragged herself (since she was not strong enough to walk or even crawl) over to where he was fell into his arms.

Zuko picked his fourteen-years old little sister up, lying her down on his lap. "It's okay, Azula," he told her. "I'm here now." And just those words allowed her to really fall asleep this time, not by sleeping pills or crying but by all the exhaustion of holding together. She was tired of it. She liked it this way, she liked to be safe, protected.


End file.
